The Dorkiest Dork Who Ever Dorked: Chapter 2 Part 1

The next few hours were indeed amazing. There were songs. There were jokes. There were a few minor acts of violence perpetrated by any number of siblings toward any number of other siblings. It was, in fact, a typical day with three teen kids bouncing around with nervous energy.

“OK, Ethan, time to cool it.” Once his dad said that, Ethan tried his hardest to back off. Although Ethan was a dork, he knew better than to dork with his father too much. Ethan cooled it in his room for a while trying to memorize new song verses about Ben.

Around five o’clock the doorbell rang and poor Ben got to meet Abigail’s family. Ethan and Mia greeted Ben by saying nothing, just giving him huge grins because the whole thing was so embarrassingly funny. Abigail did her best to ignore their weird smiles and make Ben comfortable.

“How did the hockey season go for you this year?” Ethan’s dad asked.

“Pretty good. We were 13-7, with three ties. We made it to conference but got beat in the final game.”

“How much do you play in the summer?” asked Ethan’s mom.

“We have a summer league. We play once or twice a week with a few practices.”

“Ben got a sist last game.” said Abigail, smiling proudly at Ben.

“A cyst? That’s too bad, were you able to play much after that?” Ethan’s dad said.

“Um, yeah,” said a confused Ben.

“Did it hurt?” asked Ethan’s mom.

“Did what hurt?” asked Ben.

“The cyst.”

“I’m sorry, what?” said poor Ben.

Ethan had caught on to what was confusing everyone and was laughing hysterically on the couch. He was laughing hysterically, but also quietly, which manifested itself with odd bouncing on the couch. “Assist” Ethan finally yelled, short of breath from laughing. “He got an assist.”

“Yeah, a sist,” said Abigail. “It’s when you pass the puck to someone else who scores a goal. Don’t you guys even know hockey?”

“What are you calling it?” said their dad.

“A sist” Abigail said.

“It’s an assist. Assist. Ben got one assist.” said Ethan’s dad, wondering if his son was going to die right there on the couch.

“Whatever you guys.” said Abigail.

“Well, it’s not whatever, it’s an assist.” said their dad. Ben patted Abigail on the shoulder, trying to assure her, but he was laughing too.

“Ok, ok. I got it. Whatever. You know I’m not good with sasistics.”

“Sta-tis-tics,” said their dad. Poor Ethan. If you thought he was almost dying before, he was so close to death now, he could hear the Grim Reaper sharpening his scythe.

Everyone was laughing, even Abigail. This was not the first time in her attempts to be cool she ended up saying goofy stuff. It was par for the course.

“Supper’s ready.” said their mom.

“Great, mom,” said Ethan. “Do you need any AsSISTance setting the table?”

“Shut up, Ethan!” Abigail yelled while laughing. What a start to the evening.


If you would like to get new parts of the story as they publish, please put your email in the box to the right and “Subscribe” to the blog.
Thank you for reading.
Jeff Weddle

Previous posts:

Introducing The Dorkiest Dork Who Ever Dorked

Chapter 1 Part 1
Chapter 1 Part 2
Chapter 1 Part 3
Chapter 1 Part 4


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