Lecturing While Running: Avoiding Kids

The latest conversation between my son and I while running.

Me: I notice that when I run this route by myself on Mondays, few cars go out of there way to pass me. Most come right by me, hardly moving over. However, when I run with you, all the cars move waaaay over. Why do you think that is?

Son: Yeah, that’s weird that people think kids are more valuable than adults.

Me: So you think they move over because children are more precious than adults?

Son: Yeah.

Me: Oooooh, you are so wrong. You wanna know why people move over when there’s a kid running? It’s not cuz you’re more precious, it’s because adults don’t trust kids. Kids are unpredictable. Who knows when some weird kid, not paying attention, will veer into traffic.

Only children who have had self-esteem drivel driven into their skulls think people move over because they are precious. I thought I raised you better than that. They move over because kids are untrustworthy and unpredictable. They don’t trust you.

Now move over, you’re veering into traffic.

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